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Gift Giving Today
To Peter Post, grandson of legendary etiquette guru Emily Post, the most important thing about gift giving is 'giving the gift because it's coming from you and your heart.'
In other words: 'It should be received in the manner in which it's been given.'
These days it isn’t easy as the list of recipients grows out of proportion to the budget. So use ingenuity! Just because they give you a $100 gift doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate – that attitude will soon see it escalating out of control.
If your friend loves their coffee – why not buy them a packet of gourmetl coffee beans – show them you know them and their likes.
Do they love animals? You could try a candle, but one in the shape of an animal!
And what about receiving a gift when you are empty-handed? Just be gracious - kindly thank your gift-giver. Don't stumble in embarrassment because you didn't plan a gift for them. Just say: 'I can't believe that you are so thoughtful that you gave me something’. And don’t run out straight away and buy them a gift, but look for the next occasion when you can show your thoughtfulness. They are sick? … send them a card! They had a success in their lives? … write then a congratulatory note.
And don’t forget, some carefully chosen gift card words can make a big difference – spend a few moments to think your words through, don’t just use the minimal ‘Happy Christmas to you’ – rather thank them for their friendship …. speak of sharing many such occasions together. Those personalized words say heaps.
And lastly, the final step in completing the gift-giving tradition - the art of writing a thoughtful and timely thank-you. Be it a note, a card, an email or even an SMS - it makes the gift-giver feel really good! And it’s polite and being polite is cool.
Christmas Gift Giving
True to the spirit of O’Henry's classic short story, we can hardly think of a Christmas without Gifts.
In many countries gift giving is attached to the ecclesiastical festival of Christmas. The tradition of giving gifts in this season owes its origin to the Magi who came from the east of Jerusalem to greet the Babe in the manger with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Though the Magi are associated more with the Feast of Epiphany on January 6, they can be regarded as the pioneer in the Christmas gift-giving tradition following the birth of Jesus.
The Christmas gift giving idea also has European roots. St. Nicholas, born in 280 A.D.in Lycia, Asia Minor, became the bishop of Myra. His gifts were given late at night to conceal his identity. He is commonly held to be the forefather of Santa Claus as we know him today.
As early as the year 400 a Christian sermon concerned with Christmas gift giving was recorded. It stated that gift giving was making children selfish and that the gifts were too often exchanged out of sentiments rather than real friendship, much like today's gift giving concerns. In the 1700's in Germany, gifts such as nuts and apples were given to needy children at this time. And so we have a long history of gift giving at this time which celebrates the birth of Christ.
Throughout the world we now have a range of traditions all loosely based on the same ideas. For instance, in France the giver of gifts is Father Christmas (Pere Noel). French children also receive gifts from Little Christmas (Le Petit Noel). In Brazil the gift giver (on Christmas eve) is Papa Noel and in Russia children expect gifts from Baboushka on the night of January 5. The idea of Kris Kringle evolved from the German name for the Christ Child (Christkindlein).
Gift Giving in Japan
The Japanese exchange gifts on many occasions throughout the year. Iti s a very important part of Japanese culture and social exchange. It is a time-honoured tradition that helps create good relations among people. Gifts are often given out of a sense of obligation and giving a return gift is usually necessary. This return gift is known as okaeshi. Gift giving can become a vicious circle in Japan!
Oseibo and Ochugen: The biggest gift-giving occasion occurs twice a year, in December and in June, it is common for co-workers, friends and relatives to exchange gifts. The gifts are called Oseibo (end-year gift) and Ochugen (mid-year gift) respectively. On average, they spend aroung $70 and the gifts may include food, wine, cakes, some household utensil or the like. Oseibo and Ochugen coincide with company employees receiving a special bonus in addition to their monthly salaries.
Temiyage: In order to thank somebody for an act of kndness such as an invitation to visit their home, one often presents a gift (temiyage) such as a cake, Japanese sweets or sake.
Omiyage: When a Japanese person returns from a trip or holiday, they bring home souvenirs (omiyage) to friends, co-workers and relatives.
Weddings: Guests at a wedding give a cash gift to the happy couple. The amount to be given depends on the guest’s relationship to the bride and groom. The money should be clean, unfolded notes and be placed in an envelope called a shu―gi bukuro with red and white or gold and silver cords tied in a knot around the envelope.
Birthday and Christmas:The giving of presents on birthdays and Christmas was not an original Japanese tradition. However, due to the strong influence from the West, some families and friends have started to exchange gifts on these occasions.
New baby: Gifts are also given 1~2 weeks after the birth of a baby. Clothes, toys, or even cash in a noshi bukuro with red and white cords tied in a bow are all appropriate presents.
Farewell gifts: Known as osenbetsuthese are common in Japan. The most common farewell gift these days just happens to be yet again, cash, which should be placed in a noshi bukuro envelope. Relatives, friends, and coworkers generally give farewell gifts to someone leaving on an extended trip, a student going to study in another area or country, or an employee leaving a job. After receiving osenbetsu postcards should be sent to say thank you.
New Year: Children usually receive pocket money called b>otoshidama from relatives and friends of the family. The money is placed in a small envelope called otoshidama bukuro and is given to children during the New Year period. Only a small amount needs to be given, and not to every child you see on the street. Just those children whose families you are well acquainted with.
Valentine's Day (Feb. 14) and White Day (March 14) are linked occasions. They are important times for young people to exchange gifts. Unlike Western tradition, Japan has a separate day for men and women. Women give men Valentine's gifts on feb 14th but men give their gifts to the women in their lives on White day! It is not uncommon to extend this gift giving to other special people in their lives such as friends, family and co-workers.
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