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The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's been through it; you're in a rush to get out the door, but your little one is keeping you back in search for his favorite teddy bear. Or maybe your 8 month old won't stop screaming in her room because her binkie has fallen out. As a caretaker you know how debilitating this can be. However, to your children the lack of his old blanket is what seems frustrating. Really, security items are exactly what they sound like, and are a significant, healthy part of growing up.

By the time most children reach 1 year, they've chosen a comfort object they want within reach at nearly all times. For children younger than one year, a pacifier or even the child's thumb will typically work rather nicely to quiet and comfort them when they need it. As your little one becomes a toddler, they look for something that is more physically reassuring to protect them such as the aforementioned blankie or teddy bear. Many people that soft texture is at least in part, responsible for the calming effect they have on young children. A toddler will often rub a blanket on their arm or face or caress a teddy to find comfort.

An additional security feature a toddler may find with a soft comfort item is the bond they make with you. Rubbing the material of the blanket on their cheek may remind them of your soft skin when being cradled or hugged by you. Or possibly the soft toy has been part of the naptime or sleep schedule you and your child have developed. Once again, the association with you calming your toddler or making him feel shielded is what prompts the strong connection to these comfort objects. Now and again a young child will make a comfort item out of less common possessions. It could be just about anything from a mitten to a hard block. While the bond is less apparent, there is usually some emotional attachment the child has made to find comfort and security from the item.

However challenging it is for you to handle your child's continual desire for their teddy bear or blankie, it is extremely important to consider that this period is both healthy and important. The world may be uncertain to a child, especially as they approach their first birthday. It is sometime in these early years that a child will begin to suffer from separation anxiety since they are more likely to become separated from you through playgroup, a sitter, or even on their own as they are able to explore their environment. With a comfort item, your child is finding ways to comfort himself when you aren't there for them or as they stretch their independence. Think of it as a temporary brace to get them through this turning point in their lives.

It isn't usually until your child reaches age 4 that they starts to regulate and control their own emotions and feelings and stop relying on an object of comfort for soothing and security, according to a child-development expect, Jane Kostelc. It is at this same age that dragging around a worn-out blanket might seem less acceptable among your child's peers. Who knew our children had to worry about peer pressure so young? Anyway, it is best to appreciate this stage as the milestone that it is. By doing so you will only promote their emotional developement. Certainly something that is worth short term frustration.